If I was wrestling with it, my thoughts and feelings about it would be much further along.  So I want to be honest – as much as I can.

So – here’s what gripped my attention today, as I read – 2 Corinthians 6:1 – As God’s co-workers we urge you not to receive God’s grace in vain.

I wish I could check this one off in my personal spiritual audit of my life.  But I don’t think I’m there quite yet.  I don’t even know if I’ve searched my heart enough, or allowed God to search my heart to tell if I take grace in vain.  I’ve got a feeling I do, but I just don’t know where.

Maybe I could trace the vein of my expectations in life – and there may just be a source of taking grace in vain.  Who knows – but worth a shot – right?

Highlights from this week:

• great lunch meeting with Bruce H – good conversations
• bought Super Mario Bros for wii – nico loves it.  I do too
• surprise party for Brooke’s b-day – read more below
• good insight into my leadership patterns – from Joe R.  good stuff.  true, painful, good true. stuff I need to hear

Lowlights of the week:

• entire family got strep throat and some sort of flu – ruined surprise I had planned for Brooke’s b-day
• that’s low enough.

Self-awareness is painful at times. The “who I really am” clashes with the “who I thought I was” and it leaves a mess.

But – there is a but – the more you awaken yourself to the true reality of who you are – you can learn to process it in a much more healthy way.

Sadly thought – too many of us get a glimpse of truth – and we never return because of the pain.

I was describing this to Dwight this week, and he said this – “I guess that’s why they call them growing pains”.  He’s right.

For me it comes down to this – I’d rather deal with the pain of learning about myself, than the embarrassment of learning this stuff when it’s too late.

I’m a dad – a husband – a teammate – a teacher – and too many people are intertwined with me and my life to let them down.

So I’ll probably keep looking in that mirror – but maybe not every day.  Not yet at least

This may seem crazy – but to build something that lasts, or make something stick – it takes time and an emphasis on getting an early start.

Read Deuteronomy 6.

Truth is Truth. Principles don’t change based on application or context.  They are simply always true.

The world, I thought, belonged to me

Goods, gold and, people, land and sea

Where’er I walked beneath God’s sky.

In those old days, my word was “I.”

Years passed: there flashed my pathway near

The fragment of a vision dear;

My former word no more sufficed,

And what I said was – “I and Christ.”

But, O, the more I looked on Him

His glory grew, while mine grew dim;

I shrank so small, He towered so high,

All I dared say was – “Christ and I.”

Years more the vision held its place

And looked me steadily in the face;

I speak now in a humbler tone,

And what I say is – “Christ alone.”

I empathize with his frustration.

Why is controversy the most dominant reason why some things make headlines and others don’t?  Here’s another example – Steelers and Packers make the Superbowl and there are tons of story lines to cover there – yet what is dominating the headlines – Jay Cutler’s injury – for the Bears, who lost.  Seriously?

Controversy sells – and we are buying.  Maybe we should stop.

So what is it about this practice that bugs me?  I’m sure it touches some aspect of my personality that is in my unseen world:

• less control
• bigger chance of being rejected
• more items on my “to do” list

Who knows.  Ultimately my theory is that it’s good for me.  The risk is good.  Risk is always good.  Could the plane crash?  Yes.  Could people not read the blog?  They already aren’t! Sure there’s risk.

But on the other side of risk – is often where we find  _______________?  That blank is different for everyone.  For me – I find deeper trust in God.  A good thing for sure.

Ok – so I didn’t think I’d get so into the first post – but maybe the risk motivates me.